Tuesday, August 23, 2005

A Meview of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

this is an audio post - click to play
Sorry for the brief post. Allow me to translate what was on my mind at that given moment. The whole "we should give up freedom of speech" rant was the result of me being exhausted at that hour. The thing is, I'm starting to think that maybe the so-called evil producers and film studios may be in the right when they want to start taking more control over the production of future sequels. I mean, do we really want additional Matrix movies? Star Wars Episode 47, Anyone? So, why continue the Deuce Bigalow saga? Can you see it now? In about 15 years, can we expect a new generation of Deuce Bigalow? Deuce's offspring goes backpacking in Amsterdam, you know...because he has to find himself...and then all the hilarity ensues when he discovers that his true calling...is...wait for it...you know it's coming...A GIGOLO!!! But until that happens, we need to pad the ol' Bigalow franchise with other unnecessary sequels. I mean, we can have gigolos in space! Even Underwater Gigolos (mermgolos)! After all, we learn in this film that there is already a Gigolo Union...so why should the buck stop there? Man, and to think that there aren't any additional better things that billion dollar companies could do with $22 million. Note to Sony, next time you get a bright idea (ie. Deuce Bigalow 3: Gigolo Bugaloo), why not take the cash that you know that you would have lost on some bad idea like that and put it towards something that would be a better looking "hit" to your revenue. Case in point, lower the price of the PSP to something lower than a compact car payment. Think about it: If you lower the price; more people buy the hardware. You take a slight loss on each product sold, but then make it all back in the $$ that you collect from software developers through licensing. This way, everybody wins. Gamers and techie junkies can get a decent product for a reasonable price. Then, you guys make money from software and hardware peripherals. And best of all...Rob Schneider can avoid making his head hurt again because he will not have to develop a spy espionage thriller starring America's favorite gigalo. Whadda ya say guys? Note to Disney: Very wise decision, Mickey. Just don't finance Princess Diaries 9, and you'll stay on my "Good List." Do we have a deal?

No comments: